Understanding Meditation Correctly

Anyone that is interested in understanding their mind and what meditation is, I have found, usually begins such inquiry with a controlling and aggressive nature without realizing it. Many of those who meditate probably do so with an aggressiveness while thinking that they are coming from love and openness. Let me explain.

We are all riddled with thoughts that can either benefit us or deter us. It is understandable and valuable to strive to not let the mind control us with negativity. In order to retrain the mind in the direction we want (i.e. positivity) we must learn to meditate properly. Proper meditation does not force the mind to be anything, but instead offers or suggests new ways for it to be. This distinction leads the way to deep engagement versus deep avoidance, and a proper understanding of this distinction is the key to happiness, success and greater wisdom.

Observance Is Meditation, With A Twist

I’m sure we have all heard this idea of observance and the idea that learning to just let our thoughts pass by without engaging them is the essence of meditation. Much of this is true, but I would contend that one very important difference is necessary. Yes, we must watch or observe our thoughts, let them pass by WHILE engaging with them. For it is in engaging with them that we can learn how we feel about them. It is how we feel about our thoughts that taps us into knowing the truth about our perception and our ability to love. Without this feeling element, we would simply be engaging or, as I like to say, masturbating with our mind without any connection to the heart. It is the heart (i.e. feelings) that truly allows us to know if we are coming from a place of love or fear.

“Words are creations of the mind. when you move from the conscious mind to superconscious awareness, you will find that there are no words for it. If you move to this level of awareness in meditation, during sacred dance or ritual, or by some other means, you will find in that place that there are only feelings (or vibrations). When most people feel something, they will immediately explore that feeling with their conscious mind and try to “put it into words.” This may or may not be useful. The master does not impulsively do this. The master simply feels the feeling, allows the feeling, and experiences the feeling fully. Then the master decides whether there will be any benefit in trying to put that feeling into words. Feelings are your first thought, your pure thought. A feeling is a wordless thought. It conveys a great deal without “saying” anything. Feelings are the language of the soul. Words are your second thought. They are your attempt to conceptualize your feelings by translating them into audible utterances, ” Home With God, page 209-210.

I so often see individuals, whether it be at my Yoga studio, with my Buddhist group or when I am around those who claim to meditate regularly, who espouse an ability to be present and free from their mind. They actually declare with great passion that what their minds are saying is not important and useless, which is the definition of avoidance and fear. During one of my Yoga classes, the instructor actually uttered the words, “keep working and you’ll reach that ‘Yoga Stoned” state. I ask you, is the goal of Yoga to reach a stoned like state?! I don’t think so, but this did actually happen. On some level the idea that what our minds are saying is useless and unimportant can be a valuable truth, but this notion alone does not fully explain meditation. It is true that when we are faced with a challenge of some kind and we doubt and fear our ability to overcome that challenge, it can be valuable to ignore those thoughts and feelings and go for it; especially when faced with life threatening circumstances. This must not be said to be the essence of meditation.

Meditation is observing your thoughts while feeling your feelings about those thoughts just like you would read a book and be moved by what was read. That is enough, if we can observe our thoughts, while feeling our feelings about those thoughts, we can begin to understand the underworkings of our mind. It is this process that allows us to retrain our minds towards positivity, which ultimately allows us to create whatever circumstances we want. By this I mean that we are able to create physical matter or at the very least draw to us the things (i.e. jobs, romantic partners, mortgages, etc.) that we choose. The idea that we can create or draw to us anything we want might sound like loads of fun, which it ultimately can be, but the process of feeling our deep seeded fears about our ability to get those things is not so fun. Just like exercising, as I said my last bit of writing, is not so much fun at first. Engaging with our fears and the process of healing them takes courage, strength, and true openness. An openness that says whatever I have to face to get from point A (no job) to point B (new job) I’ll do.

This newsletter was not meant to be a scare tactic, but an attempt to set the record straight regarding meditation. True meditation is not for the faint of heart and requires a passion that runs deep! This type of meditation will cause you pain and suffering, hence the saying, “life is suffering.” But the rewards are greater than you can imagine, greater than can even be explained with words. And when you bear the fruits of your labor, you will know it and jump with joy. A joy that has very little to do with feeling good and more to do with “BE-ing with your goodness.”

Meditation Techniques

I have listed a few types of meditation techniques and there are many more to choose from if do your research. Please keep in mind what I discussed above and find out if these techniques are engaging or avoiding. I believe many do advocate avoidance, but that doesn’t mean you can’t practice them, just keep in mind what you learned in this newsletter!

Concentrative Meditation

Concentration meditation focuses the attention on the breath, an image, or a sound (mantra), in order to still the mind and allow a greater awareness and clarity to emerge. This is like a zoom lens in a camera; we narrow our focus to a selected field. The simplest form of concentrative meditation is to sit quietly and focus the attention on the breath. Yoga and meditation practitioners believe that there is a direct correlation between one’s breath and one’s state of the mind. For example, when a person is anxious, frightened, agitated, or distracted, the breath will tend to be shallow, rapid, and uneven. On the other hand, when the mind is calm, focused, and composed, the breath will tend to be slow, deep, and regular. Focusing the mind on the continuous rhythm of inhalation and exhalation provides a natural object of meditation. As you focus your awareness on the breath, your mind becomes absorbed in the rhythm of inhalation and exhalation. As a result, your breathing will become slower and deeper, and the mind becomes more tranquil and aware.

Mindfulness meditation

Mindfulness meditation, according to Dr. Borysenko, “involves opening the attention to become aware of the continuously passing parade of sensations and feelings, images, thoughts, sounds, smells, and so forth without becoming involved in thinking about them.” The person sits quietly and simply witnesses whatever goes through the mind, not reacting or becoming involved with thoughts, memories, worries, or images. This helps to gain a more calm, clear, and non-reactive state of mind. Mindfulness meditation can be likened to a wide-angle lens. Instead of narrowing your sight to a selected field as in concentrative meditation, here you will be aware of the entire field.

Mantra Meditation

A Mantra is a grouping of sound vibrations which have an effect on the mental and psychic consciousness. Although traditionally given by a Guru, in the absence of a Guru, the practitioner may choose his mantra. An important criterion for mantra selection is that it must appeal to the mind fully when spoken verbally. Mantra chanting creates powerful vibrations which are said to be directed to the right “chakras” to attract divine forces. This process is said to mysteriously heal the spiritual, physical & psychological body. It is important that when the mantra is chanted, the words and their rhythm must be enjoyed and one must surrender oneself to this experience. Mantras do not have any specific meaning. Their power lies not in the meaning of the word but through the vibratory effects of the sound that they produced when spoken verbally or mentally. In fact, a Mantra should not be confused with religion. Just because a mantra refers to a Hindu God, it does not mean that it cannot be said by a Christian. Also, a Mantra should not be translated as this has the effect of altering the sound vibrations wherein lies the strength of the Mantra. Repetition of a Mantra forms the basis of Mantra Meditation. Mantras for spiritual evolution should be practiced for a fixed amount of time each day. Repeating a mantra too much may not be right for sensitive or psychic people as it may affect them adversely. Generally, if you repeat a mantra for about 10 minutes every day, then, within a few days you will know whether the vibrations feel right for you.

Example: Chanting NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO is to chant the devotion to the mystic law. It literally means: NAM or Devotion, MYOHO or Mystic Law, RENGE Simultaneous Cause & Effect, KYO or vibration or sound. For more information go to www.sgi-usa.org. P.S. this is what I chant and I recommend it highly while participating within the SGI!

Yogic Gaze or Trataka

Trataka means steady gazing. It is a very simple and beautiful Meditation Technique. In this a regular candle is used, however any other object of choice can be used. The candle is set up at an arm’s distance, level with eyes, and steady gazing is first done with the eyes open. After some time, the eyes are closed, and the after image of the flame is ‘gazed at’ with eyes closed at the eye brow center. Try not to move through out the practice. Relax your breath , let it lengthen, deepen. This open gazing of the flame and then with the eyes closed is alternated a couple of times before concluding the practice. If using a candle for Trataka, the gaze should be fixed at the wick tip and not on the flame.

Caution: If practicing Trataka on a Candle flame, do not continue the practice for more than a month or two at a stretch as it may lead to damage of the retina.

Benefits: It improves the optic function, both external and internal, such as poor eyesight and visualization abilities. It helps develop concentration and mental resolve. Develops the ability to maintain one-pointedness in amongst the noise and distractions of daily life. Develops the psychic eye, that is the ability to “see” or understand what is inside and beyond the obvious. It develops the power of Intuition.

MindFul vs. MindLess Thinking

Last month we discussed the most common thinking habit, which we defined as defensive routines or defensiveness. By understanding the various types of Defensive Routines that we discussed, individuals are able to get a better grasp on how they create division with those (and things!) that they interact with daily. Consequentially, they are able to generate more harmonious experiences from moment to moment. I would like to again stress that gaining an intellectual understanding of the defensive routines does not equal eliminating them within ones total behavior. It is through trial and error over an extended period of time with the help of a professional within the field of behavioral management that they are put in check.

By learning to develop new ways of thinking that match the challenges of the 21st century, we can begin to make wiser choices that create value for both ourselves and others. I have taken 10 thinking habits as identified by Capella University’s new Bachelor of Science degree program and professional certificate programs in information technology that are necessary for optimal development within our personal and professional lives and discussed them from my point of view.

Types of Thinking Habits

Complementary Thinking: The ability to weave various points of view into an interconnected web of understanding. Individuals are able to understand how conflicting meanings can compliment each other and so exist simultaneously (Polar-Opposite Complementary), how to create multiple perspectives from concepts that do not conflict but are similar in content (Multi-Perspective Complimentary), and how to establish new meanings and discoveries by competently using such “complementaries” (Complementary meaning Making).

Connected Seeing: The ability to sea one’s reality as a whole, seamlessly connected, interactive and dynamic web or system. Each of us has a relationship with our environment, and when we can see this relationship as an interconnected whole our understanding of this experience will be a valuable one (Seeing Relationships). This understanding allows for individuals to make and find significant meaning within their lives (Seeing Significance), which by default results in high levels of motivation and joy. The final piece of this thinking habit is the ability to make connections and see relevance across and within various knowledge systems (Seeing Across Disciplines).

Collaborative Teamwork: The ability to work within a team setting to achieve a common purpose through the integration of personal initiative and group cohesiveness. Individuals with this type of thinking proactively search for acreative ways to attack various challenges (Creativity in Collaboration), find ways to communicate in a teamwork style that promotes trust and mutuality (Collaborative Dialogue), and are able to exercise responsibility regarding initiative and cooperation while fulfilling their individual and group commitments (Collaborative Responsibility).

Constructing Meaning: The ability to construct meaning by acquiring and streamlining diverse knowledge systems to deepen overall understanding. In this case, individuals actively obtain and analyze relevant and explicit knowledge (Acquiring Explicit Knowledge). Upon which they determine the relevancy of such knowledge through interviewing techniques, experiential analysis and introspection (Accessing Tacit Knowledge). Finally, they creatively integrate the body of knowledge by combining their explicit and implicit elements (Synthesis of Whole Knowledge).

Conceptual Clarity: The ability to think clearly regarding conceptual data and make sense of and distinguish among the known and unknown in order to establish fundamental clarity of concepts. Individuals are able to express the implications of relevant concepts clearly in writing (Clarity of Concept), uncover the rationale of concepts by incorporating relevant experiences to the existing principles (Clarity of Rationale), and balance the “reason” capabilities of mind, heart and imagination as the “go-through” for establishing wholeness of conceptual thinking (Clarity of Wholeness).

Communicating Effectively: The ability to create new understandings, new possibilities and new realities through effective communication within teams. This thinking habit allows individuals to recognize and use the influences of both descriptive and metaphorical language on their perception, thought and action (Language Awareness), which also enables them to generate leadership language that can be seen in the way they put their words together or by how they determine their word choice, metaphor, image and other language capabilities (Language Leadership). They can also use the unique power and quality of hypermedia (sound & video) to enhance and transform professional communications (Hypermedia Languaging).

Courageous Action: The ability to establish meaning in the face of ambiguous experience and take courageous action while in the midst of uncertainty. Many situations in our personal and professional lives require that we be able to recognize the relevance, occurrence and significance of ambiguity (Ambiguity Awareness), while simultaneously establishing meaning within those scenarios to create a reality through sense making, action and creating theories (Enactment of Reality). Emotional resilience and recognizing the courage needed to be committed, accept responsibility and continue to take action as essential to creating value in the face of uncertainty (Courage of Commitment).

Caring Empathy: The ability to care for, identify with, and honor others, while striving to understand differing points of view. All there is, in the physical realm, is difference, which requires the ability seek mutual understanding and the capacity to view the polar-opposites of “self-other” as complimentary (Self-Other Unity). This is enhanced by honoring the dignity and legitimacy of each individual’s stake in their proposed ideals by seeing and feeling IN their world views (Stakeholder Perspective). Of course, the integration of mind, heart, and imagination to inform empathy and ethics in relationships and actions is required for empathy to actually exist (Intellectual and Emotional Maturity).

Conversational Reflection: The ability to reflect on the experience of professional practice by engaging in learning conversations. An extremely valuable quality is the ability to always and INITIALLY be open to believing in potentiality and possibility by striving to learn from new ideas, experiences, developments and challenges (Believing). The next step (SECONDLY) is to be open to doubting new encounters only after one has EXHAUSTED all the possibilities learned from believing (Doubting). Finally, individuals can now write a new story of meaning once they have reflected on the previous two steps (believing and doubting).

Continuous Learning: The ability to view every experience as an opportunity for continuous learning. These individuals are able to learn from “failure” by courageously facing failure and understanding it as an unexpected gift to enhance learning (Learning in Failure). Conversely, these individuals are also able to learn from their successes and to see them with humility and as another unexpected learning experience (Learning in Success). Finally, individuals with this thinking habit are intentional in their drive to learn by planning formal and informal learning experiences with the awareness that such learning will only enhance them personally and professionally.

Defensive Routines

Last month we made clear the distinction between dialogue and debate. Simply, debate has as its foundation the need to be right versus establishing what is true. We also discussed how a better understanding of our thinking habits can enhance our quality of communication. One of the most common thinking habits that occurs, in my assessment, is known as defensive routines or defensiveness. When individuals debate, they are usually engaging in unconscious and irrational defensiveness, which occurs when individuals want to protect themselves from anxiety. This protection is established through diversionary and intimidation tactics or by distorting reality. Defensive communication can lead to one-sided conversations, where individuals only want to prove their point versus wanting to also understand the point of view of those that they communicate with.

These unconscious psychological defensive mechanisms include repression, rationalization, projection, reaction formation, displacement, identification, regression, fantasy formation, intellectualization/isolation, and denial. Most individuals who are overly defensive are trying to protect themselves from a threat that does not really exist. Before I breakdown the various types of defensive routines, it should be known that everyone uses defense mechanisms and that it is quite normal to do so. Problems arise when they are overly or habitually used.

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Types of Defensive Routines

Repression: The primary ego defense that give life to all other defensive routines. Its prime function is to prevent anxiety and helps individuals deal with everyday problems. It often occurs in response to conflict and pain from one’s past history, whether that conflict actually exists or not. Repressed memories can drain our creative energy, cause stiffness of character and lead to more serious psychological challenges. It is important to know that repressed memories don’t ever go away and that the goal is to create a better understanding of the negative feelings associated with that memory. Such identification allows us to associate more positive feelings with the old memory. The difficulty with this is that the only way to associate a new feeling with an old memory. is to actually feel the repressed pain associated with it. Trained professionals can help individuals through that process. It is through the darkness (pain) that we find the light (something other than pain).

Rationalization: In order to cope with anxiety, our ego uses reason to “explain them away.” This reasonableness is often seen in dishonest explanations for various acts, or justifying those acts with complete disregard to how hurtful those acts may have been. This rationale is often clouded in delusion, which results in an over sense of superiority. The bottom line is that those who overly use their rational faculties to justify their acts are really implementing impaired judgment.

Projection: In this case, individuals transfer their own personality traits onto other people, places or even things. It is the unconscious act of labeling or attributing to others one’s own feelings, thoughts or intentions.This actually happens a great deal and is one of the highest forms of delusion. An example might be when someone accuses another person of being a coward and too afraid to achieve something, when in actuality they are talking about themselves. How do we know if we are projecting to others? Simply, every time we assume to know the intentions of another person without asking them about what they are doing with an “ear” of respectful acknowledgment of that persons capabilities.

Reaction Formation: This is used by the ego to primarily control the expression of “forbidden” impulses by repressing them consciously. This repression is justified by making that impulse (i.e. sexual lust, seeking wealth, only doing a job you love, etc.) unworthy or unjust, regardless of whether or not those impulses are valuable. One becomes the crusader against the forbidden urge, often resulting in compulsiveness, exaggeration and an all or nothing attitude.

Displacement: This occurs when an instinctual impulse is redirected from a more threatening activity, person or object to a less threatening one. For example, you might yell at your dog because you are too afraid to yell at your significant other. Injustice is what describes this defensive routine best; the innocent becomes the victim.

Identification: In this case, individuals take on the characteristics of someone admired or considered successful; hero-worship. In doing so, they are able to bolster their sense of self-worth by protecting themselves through the illusion that they are giving themselves an identity, albeit a false one. If used too often, it results in feelings of inauthenticity and a sense of separation from others.

Regression: Reverting to an earlier child-like stage of development, which one views as a more secure period. Individuals act as if they are very tired or fatigued, ill and often will throw tantrums.

Fantasy Formation: Individuals gratify frustrated desires by thinking of imaginary achievements and satisfactions; thinking that they are something that they are not. This allows the individual to transport themselves away from real problems. It can be difficult to communicate with people who display this defensive routine.

Intellectualization/Isolation: Unpleasant emotions are suppressed by engaging in detached analyses of threatening problems. Feelings of anxiety are ignored and not allowed to reach one’s conscious awareness. Becoming a third party to issues to prevent them from emotionally attaching to the feelings associated with the issues. Obviously, these individuals have difficulty with intimacy.

Denial: The ego refuses to acknowledge the existence of threatening events by refusing to believe in them. It can assist an individual in getting through difficult times and can be very valuable if they are willing to address the issue at a later date.