The 5 Elements of Fitness

As I see it, individuals view fitness in a very general and limiting way. Generally speaking, the goal of fitness is often to become thin, look good aesthetically, and to have strong muscles. Of course, not all people think this way, but I am speaking from my own experience and from what I see in society today. There seems to be more concern with how we look versus how well our body feels and functions. In order for our “total self” to become “fitness ready,” we must engage in all 5 of my elements of fitness.

The 5 Elements of Fitness

1. Breath: Clinical studies prove that oxygen, wellness, and life-span are totally dependent on proper breathing. Lung volume is a primary marker for how long you will live. Breathing supplies over 99% of your entire oxygen and energy supply. Poor breathing causes or worsens chronic maladies such as asthma, allergies, anxiety, fatigue, depression, headaches, heart conditions, high blood pressure, sleep loss, obesity, harmful stress, poor mental clarity plus hundreds of other lesser known but equally harmful conditions. ALL diseases are caused or worsened by poor breathing. The average person reaches peak respiratory function and lung capacity in their mid 20’s. Then they begin to loose respiratory capacity: between 10% and 27% for every decade of life! So, unless you are doing something to maintain or improve your breathing capacity, it will decline, and with it, your general health, your life expectancy, and for that matter, your spirit as well. Optimal breathing gets you more vitality and better quality of life. We also address food, exercise, internal cleansing, attitude, and environment but breathing is for many the most important part of getting and staying healthy. Begin with breathing. Better breathing is possible for anyone. Develop your breathing now.” Breathing is the FIRST place not the LAST place one should investigate when any disordered energy presents itself.” Sheldon Saul Hendler, MD Ph.D. , The Oxygen Breakthrough, Breathing fundamentals are critical. Just because one particular breathing exercise or development technique feels good does not mean it is the best choice. Many feel good at the outset of a certain exercise but that is largely because so many breathe so poorly that any progress feels significant, and it may well be. But each technique or exercise must be based in solid breathing fundamentals otherwise they can work against each other and cause future breathing development problems. Like a rocket ship even slightly off coarse, as the days and weeks pass you will travel further and further away from your goal of a long healthy, vibrant life. Knowing the fundamentals helps you stay on course.

2. Flexibility: Flexibility is the ability to move joints and muscles through their full range of motion. As you become more flexible, you will find it easier to reach things on high shelves, to look under a bed, or perhaps to tie your shoes. You will also have a better sense of balance and coordination. To stay flexible, stretch all your major groups of muscles. These include the muscles of your arms, back, hips, front and back of your thighs, and calves. Try to stretch for 10 to 12 minutes a day, after a brief warm-up. Do some stretches first thing in the morning, take a stretch break instead of a coffee break, or stretch in the office for a few minutes. Or participate in activities that include stretching, such as dance, martial arts (aikido or karate), tai chi, or yoga. Stretching also can be done as part of strength training and aerobic exercise. When you exercise, you repeatedly shorten your muscles. To counter this effect, you need to stretch slowly and regularly, which makes you more flexible. Combining it with other forms of fitness is an ideal way to practice flexibility fitness. When getting started with flexibility and stretching, begin slowly and increase your efforts gradually. You can measure your progress with flexibility by noticing how much farther you can do each stretch. Can you go farther with each stretch than you could when you started? If so, your flexibility is improving.

3. Emotions: Emotions serve as the source of human energy, authenticity and drive, and can offer us a wellspring of intuitive wisdom. Each feeling provides us with valuable feedback throughout the day. This feedback from the heart is what ignites creativity, keeps us honest with ourselves, guides trusting relationships, and provides the compass for our life and career. Emotional intelligence requires that we learn to acknowledge and understand feelings – in ourselves and others – and that we appropriately respond to them, creatively applying the energy of the emotions to our daily life, work and relationships. Emotional intelligence is demonstrated by tolerance, empathy and compassion for others; the ability to verbalize feelings accurately and with integrity; and the resilience to bounce back from emotional upsets. It is the ability to be a deeply feeling, authentic human being, no matter what life brings, no matter what challenges and opportunities we face. Emotional intelligence (EQ) may be even more important than IQ in one’s ability to achieve success and happiness. I may score well on tests and excel academically, but how well do I handle disappointment, anger, jealousy and fear, the problems of communication, and all the ups and downs of relationships? Persons with high EQ – who have developed emotional literacy – will have more confidence and trust in themselves, and more understanding of others and therefore empathy with them. So they will make better relationships and experience more achievement, love and joy in their life. They will be emotionally mature, a state that many adults do not achieve. If these skills were taught widely, in the home as well as at school, and amongst adults too of course, it would provide the basis of a much saner and happier world to live in. At its essence, a meaningful and successful life requires being attuned to what is on the inside, beneath the mental analyzes, the appearances and control, and beneath the rhetoric. It requires being attuned to the heart, the center of our emotions and outgoing reach to the world. Our heart activates our deepest values, transforming them from something we think about to what we actually do in our life. The heart is the place of courage and spirit, integrity and commitment – the source of energy and deep feelings that call us to create, learn, cooperate, lead and serve. When we have painful feelings, the heart is telling us we have unmet needs, or we are interpreting reality through some kind of distorting filter. When we have positive feelings, the heart is telling us we are pointing in the right direction, towards fulfillment of our needs and towards truth. Our Higher Self, the all-knowing part of us connected to all consciousness, communicates to our body-mind through this channel – not through verbal messages but through the heart. We just need to be open to receive this intuitive wisdom.

4. Cardiovascular: To stay healthy, adults should do at least 20 minutes of vigorous cardiovascular exercise three times a week, according to joint research from Exeter and Brunel universities. Not only will good cardiovascular fitness reduce the risk of a stroke, high blood pressure and diabetes, it will improve your performance in most sports. Cardiovascular fitness refers to the ability of your heart, lungs and blood vessels (cardiovascular system) to carry oxygen to, and carbon dioxide away from, working muscles. Your resting heart rate (RHR) is a good indication of your overall cardiovascular fitness level. The lower it is, the more efficiently your heart is pumping blood around your body. Seventy beats per minute (BPM) is average for a healthy heart and to improve cardiovascular fitness you must train at 70-80% of your maximum heart rate (MHR). Below, we examine four popular cardio exercises – running, swimming, cycling and rowing – explain how many calories they burn and which muscles they work. To determine your MHR, subtract your age from 220. If you are 40, your MHR would be 180 BPM. A heart rate monitor is useful for cardiovascular training, enabling you to exercise at the required output. Each session should include 5 to 10-minute warm-up and cool-down – both performed at 50-60% of MHR. It’s also vital to stretch all the muscles used in the activity.

5. Muscle Strength: Even if you have no intention of becoming an Olympic weight-lifter, there’s still reason to care about muscular fitness. It influences your ability to do everyday chores, like housework and yard work. It affects how easily you can carry a bag of groceries or lift a young child. It’s also at the core of physical skill and sports performance, affecting how hard you swing a softball bat or how long you last on the tennis court. Muscle-strengthening exercises are likely to improve your stamina and your energy. Equally important, they increase resistance to injury. People with strong muscles are less likely to suffer everyday muscle aches and pains. They also have less strain on their hearts. Resistance training. Building muscular fitness involves resistance training, progressively overloading your muscles so that they get stronger to meet the challenge. This can be done with exercises that use your body to exert force, like push-ups, chin-ups, and sit-ups. Commonly, people use weight training, also called weight lifting, to provide resistance. Strength gains come from resistance€”how much weight you lift. Endurance is achieved through repetition€”how many times you lift a weight in succession. Both are important to develop. Experts advise you to start any weight-training program with light weights and easy repetition. Start with a weight that you can lift comfortably eight to 12 times. Try to do a second set of each exercise after a break of a few minutes. Do at least one exercise for each muscle group, moving from the larger muscles (the legs) down to smaller ones (arms and biceps). Strength gains come when you work with close to the heaviest weight that you can lift comfortably. This is the overload principle. You’ll see the quickest benefits if you lift the maximum amount during fewer repetitions of each exercise. Using a weight that’s too heavy, however, can lead to injury. And if you’re interested in all-around conditioning, it’s best to start with low amounts and progress gradually.

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Understanding the Chakra System

The human body is composed of various physical elements (i.e. heart, lungs, limbs, etc.) that enable it to function properly. If any of these elements or aspect of the human body are injured or broken, it effects the overall functionality of the human body in general. For example, a person with lung disease will have difficulty running effectively. The impaired lungs affects the ability of the legs and heart or cardio-vascular system to function at their maximum ability during running. Each of the physical parts of the human body affects the other and are thus interconnected with each other in profound ways. Let’s call this the physical system of our “total self.”

There is also a non-physical system in the form of energy fields that are connected to the physical body and affects the functionality of the “total self” also. It’s called the Chakra System that is generally viewed as having seven major elements, as well as uncountable minor ones that are of equal value. We will focus on the seven major chakras here.

7 Major Chakra System

The best way to view the chakras is as energy processing centers that enable us to connect to the non-physical elements that surround us. Many would call these non-physical elements our “spiritual essence,” but I prefer to refer to them as our non-physical essences. There are too many associations, in my opinion, that are attached to the word “spiritual” that could cause us to view this “un-seen” essence as somehow separate from us. When in actuality, they are as connected to us as our hand is to our forearm. This energy system flows throughout our body just as our blood flows throughout our circulatory system. This non-physical system enables every aspect of our “total self” (our physical, emotional, mental and intuitional bodies) to function effectively. Each chakra has its own character that relates to a unique aspect of our being. They are patterns of energy whos shape can be described as funnel-like or whirlpool-like, and each one corresponds to parts of the Central Nervous System. Their vortices lie inside the body, along the spinal chord and up into the head.

When there is a blockage or other energetic dysfunction in a chakra, it usually causes disorders in the physical, mental and intuitive bodies. A defect in the energy flow of a chakra will disrupt the necessary amount of energy that flows to its corresponding element in the physical body, just as a blocked artery negatively affects the ability of the heart’s system to function properly. Even though these energy patterns don’t exist as physical elements, there are specific locations in the body where the energy patterns exist; five along the spine, and two on the head. Each chakra also has a certain color associated with it. Because the chakras are non-physical entities, it is impossible to convey a complete explanation of the nature of each chakra in words alone, but the table below will provide an introduction to the nature of each.

NUMBER — LOCATION & NAME — CHARACTER — COLOR
7 — Crown of Head/Totality of Beingness — Non-physical Perfection — Violet
6 — Forehead (3rd Eye) — Visualization/Intuition — Indigo
5 — Pit of Throat — Communication/Creative Expression — Blue
4 — Heart/Universal Love — Compassion and Empathy — Green
3 — Solar Plexus/Creation of Self — Perception and Projection of Self — Yellow
2 — Sacral (Pubic) — Desire & Sexual Energy — Orange
1 — Base of Spine Physical/Vitality — Survival — Red

Chakra Details

“Each chakra has a dominant (usually) front component, and a less dominant (usually) rear component that are intimately related. The seventh and first chakras, though, are usually represented and thought of as having only the one dominant component, as it is far, far more significant than the weaker component in these two chakras. The seventh chakra extends vertically upwards above the head. The first chakra extends forwards from the base of the spine, and downwards, at roughly a 45 degree angle, although its exact position will vary from person to person. The other five chakras, spaced between the first and seventh, have at their appropriate locations a front component extending out the front of the body and a rear component extending out the rear of the body. Aside from the entry of energy into the body through the seven major chakras, there is also an upward flow of energy in the body, from the lower to higher energy centers. The lower chakras are simpler-functioning, but as one ascends upwards there is a greater degree of sophisticated and more spiritual functioning, intimately related to the life experience and state of being of the individual,” (www.chioshealing.com).

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Conflict Resolution: Expressing Feelings

Let’s further our discussion on the source of conflict. Conflict is something that cannot be avoided. It ALWAYS occurs. That doesn’t mean that it has to be uncomfortable, unpleasant or negative in any way. If understood correctly, conflict is merely difference; difference in belief, ways of doing things, style, etc. The negative aspect of conflict occurs within each individual when they resist the feelings by judging them as somehow “bad.”

Learning to Nurture Ourselves

When we get angry it is because we have not learned how to feel the feelings that are associated with concepts such as loss, worry, and doubt. Now, of course, these types of feelings are natural and normal, but if not properly managed they can cause serious damage. The first step to finding peace is to accept a very harsh reality; no one causes another to become angry, sad, disappointed, etc. The largest misconception I have come across is the notion that another person causes us to feel our feelings. Every single feeling that we have is caused by our perception of what occurred. When we feel sad, angry, upset, and are not able to manage our uncomfortable feelings it is because we have not learned how to process them. Our minds have the tendency to look in the wrong direction for the source of the pain it feels. It looks outside of itself instead of looking within itself. Learning to nurture ourselves cannot happen until we stop looking for something outside of us to do the nurturing. It may seem insensitive and possibly selfish to think this way, but consider the alternative. Until we begin making the source of our uncomfortable feelings our own perception, we are like caged dogs who can only be freed if the “master” opens the cage.

We cripple ourselves by depending on an outside agent (person, place or thing) to change in a way we want so that we can feel better. It is impossible to get those people and circumstances to change in exactly the way we want. And this is where we go wrong. Rather than trying to change the “external” into an exact replica of our desires, it is far more realistic and practical to attempt to influence the “external” towards what we want. The word towards is key because within its essence is the notion of process, which also entails things like patience, allowing, moving, steps of success and the creative process in general. Remember, I am not suggesting that your feelings should be anything other than what they are. It is easy to think that I might be suggesting that we should alter our feelings in some way or that they should be something different if they occur from within us instead of from the outside. That’s just not the case. Your feelings are ALWAYS perfect and NEVER need to be anything other than what they are. Ironically, the ability to accept them as they occur and allow them to surface, be expressed as fully as possible depending on the circumstance, offers the very nurturing that they require. Imagine what it would be like if you had to go the the bathroom, but couldn’t release our urine. Many problems would occur within our physiology that would have lasting damaging effects. The same occurs with our feelings, yet the problems take longer to show themselves. We have accepted ulcers as a bi-product of unexpressed feelings, and the reality is that many of our physical symptoms occur because of unexpressed feelings. This is easy to state and not-so-easy to practice. Below are a few steps to assist you in the practice of nurturing your own feelings.

Simple Tips

Feelings Versus Thoughts and Beliefs

Feelings and thoughts are different, but also are one and the same. They are like the head and tail of a coin. We react to events with both thoughts and feelings. Feelings are emotions, and sensations, and they are different from thoughts, beliefs, interpretations, and convictions. When difficult feelings are expressed, the sharp edges are dulled, and it is easier to release or let go of the bad feeling. If we only express our beliefs about the event and not the feelings, the bad feelings linger and are often harder to release. Whenever someone says, “I feel that,” the person is about to express a belief, not a feeling.

Guidelines For Expressing Feelings

Try to be specific rather than general about how you feel. Consistently using only one or two words to say how you are feeling, such as bad or upset, is too vague and general. What kind of bad or upset? (irritated, mad, anxious, afraid, sad, hurt, lonely, etc.). Specify the degree of the feelings, and you will reduce the chances of being misunderstood. For example, some people may think when you say, “I am angry” means you are extremely angry when you actually mean a “little irritated”. When expressing anger or irritation, first describe the specific behavior you don’t like, then your feelings. This helps to prevent the other person from becoming immediately defensive or intimidated when they first hear “I am angry with you”, and they could miss the message. If you have mixed feelings, say so, and express each feeling and explain what each feeling is about. For example: “I have mixed feelings about what you just did. I am glad and thankful that you helped me, but I didn’t like the comment about being stupid. It was disrespectful and unnecessary and I found it irritating”.

Techniques for Expressing Feelings

The two following – I feel statements and I messages will help you: Express feelings productively. Respectfully confront someone when you are bothered by his or her behavior. Express difficult feelings without attacking the self-esteem of the person. Clarify for you and the other person precisely what you feel. Prevent feelings from building up and festering into a bigger problem. Communicate difficult feelings in a manner that minimizes the other person’s need to become defensive, and increases the likelihood that the person will listen. When you first start using these techniques they will be cumbersome and awkward to apply, and not very useful if you only know them as techniques. However, if you practice these techniques and turn them into skills, it will be easy for you to express difficult feelings in a manner that is productive and respectful.

Which of the two methods you use for expressing your feelings should depend on your goal, the importance or difficulty of your feelings and the situation.

1. I feel statements are used in situations that are clear and fairly simple, when you what to express yourself and avoid a buildup of feelings without attacking or hurting the self-esteem of the other.

2. I messages are used in more complex situations to clarify for yourself and the other person just what you are feeling when a) you have difficult negative feelings, b) you confront someone and want them to change their behavior, and c) it is very sensitive and important that the other person accurately understand.

I Feel Statements

These statements take the form of “When you did that thing I felt this way. That thing is a behavior of the other person, and this way is your specific feelings. Here are some examples: “I felt embarrassed when you told our friends how we are pinching pennies.” “I liked it when you helped with the dishes without being asked.” “I feel hurt and am disappointed that you forgot our anniversary”.

I Messages

It is called an I message because the focus is on you, and the message is about yourself. This is in contrast to a You message which focuses on and gives a message about the other person. When using I messages you take responsibility for your own feelings, rather than accusing the other person of making you feel a certain way. A You message does not communicate a feeling, but a belief about the other person. The essence of an I message is “I have a problem”, while the essence of a You message is “You have a problem”. There are four parts to an I message:

1. When … Describe the person’s behavior you are reacting to in an objective, non-blameful, and non-judgmental manner.
2. The effects are … Describe the concrete or tangible effects of that behavior. (This is the most important part for the other person to understand – your reaction.)
3. I feel … Say how you feel. (This is the most important part to prevent a buildup of feelings.)
4. I’d prefer … Tell the person what you want or what you prefer they do. You can omit this part if it is obvious.

The order in which you express these parts is usually not important. Here are some examples: ” When you take company time for your personal affairs and then don’t have time to finish the urgent work I give you, I get furious. I want you to finish the company’s work before you work on your personal affairs.” “I lose my concentration when you come in to ask a question, and I don’t like it. Please don’t interrupt me when I am working unless it is urgent.” “It is very hard for me to keep our place neat and clean when you leave your clothes and other stuff laying around. It creates a lot more work for me and it takes a lot longer, and I get resentful about it. I’d prefer that you put your clothes away and put your trash in the basket.” “I resent it when your flirting with the women keeps you from having time for your work, because it means more work for me.”

Common Mistakes

Not expressing a feeling at all, expressing a belief or judgment. Sending a disguised You message. Only expressing negative feelings. The nonverbal body language contradicting the words. For example, smiling when irritated. Practice these techniques and turn them into useful skills. Make it easy for yourself to spontaneously express difficult feelings in a manner that is productive and respectful.

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Effectively Managing Stress!

The best way to manage stress is to understand its foundation; where it comes from. Whether individuals want to admit it or not, stress begins with perception. The way we perceive a situation is the origin of stress. Of course that doesn’t mean that changing ones perception will eliminate stress. Eliminating stress would mean that we would stop being human. Learning to understand the origin of stress allows one to effectively manage the difficult situations that they encounter in their professional and personal lives.

Stress can be defined as, “a state of being or feeling experienced by a person who perceives that the requirements necessary to obtain something surpass the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize.” There are two fundamental approaches that we can use to manage stress: “action-oriented” and “emotionally-oriented.” These two approaches offer alternative ways of perceiving and engaging in the challenging aspects of our endeavors.

2 Approaches For Managing Stress

1. Action-Oriented: This approach offers us ways to confront the challenges that cause us stress by helping us change the environment or situations that are presenting themselves to us. Notice that I say, “presenting themselves to us.” Our environment is a result of our internal experiences; how we think and feel about it. More accurately, our environment is a direct mirror of how we feel and think about things; the people, places and things in our life are a direct manifestation of our internal workings. For example, someone who doubts the possibility of generating a successful business will not be able to manifest one. Their actions will result in continually having unsuccessful business endeavors. This is how the science of the Universe works; the quantum physics of it. This way of thinking runs counter to the common view that our environment causes us stress; situations and events happen and we react to them with feelings. Have you ever caught yourself saying, “You make me angry or crazy.” It would be more accurate to say, “My interpretation of what you said makes me angry.” Our interpretation of our experiences creates our experiences. I know that sounds a bit philosophical, but watch the movie, “What The Bleep Do We Know,” and you’ll understand what I’m saying.

An action-oriented approach has nothing to do with achieving anything or getting out there to find one’s fortune. Rather than looking outside yourself to get things you want to create, look inside instead. The action that I would suggest is to clearly write down what you want to have happen in your life and wait and see what presents itself to you. If “what comes” to you matches what you wrote down then act on it. Otherwise, let it pass and wait for something to show up that mirrors your interests. Of course, taking a little action to “ignite” the Universe’s electrical circuits will help. Other than a little initial action that you put out, the rest is action coming to you that you act upon. This type of perspective has another element to it that states that every action taken corresponds to that action being manifested or mirrored in our environment over time. If something is bothering you, ask yourself what action can be taken to create a better scenario. For example, you may find that you don’t have enough time to spend with your children because you work too much. Simply, schedule time in for the kids and deal with the potential ramifications. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do your job effectively, you should. But not at the expense of your family life. Setting boundaries in this way can be difficult due to a fear of losing a job. Yet, if you value your family, then you should challenge yourself to find a happy medium. Your fear of losing a job may be true, and you’ll have to deal with that reality while taking action that works for everyone. Sit in the weight of, “If I do this, then I may lose my job. Yet, I feel that I am being fair and so will risk that harsh reality.” If you are fair and clearly communicate your needs, it should be fine.

To quote William Glasser,“At this stage of our evolution, we have almost total control over the doing component, some over the thinking component, almost none over the feeling component, and even less over the physiological component of our total behavior. Because we always have control over the doing component of our behavior, if we markedly change that component, we cannot avoid changing the thinking, feeling, and physiological components as well. The more we get involved in an active doing behavior that is markedly different from what we were doing when choosing a misery, like depressing or headaching, the more we will also change what we think, feel, and experience from our bodies. And if what we do gives us better control, it will be accompanied by better feelings, more pleasant thoughts, and greater physical comfort.” (Control Theory, pg. 51 – 52).

2. Emotionally-Oriented: Feelings are a huge challenge for most people because they generally play victim to their feelings, believing that outside forces cause their feelings. We now know that this isn’t true and that our perspective of persons, events and things causes us to feel certain things. My point in addressing feelings in this way is to help individuals understand how glorious ALL feelings can be. Both “good” and “bad” feelings offer us profound insight into what it means to be a human being. Learning how to embrace feelings as they occur while choosing behaviors that create the most value within the given circumstance allows us to create a highly fulfilling life. A person can feel really bad, be thinking thought of anguish and turmoil while cooking a romantic dinner for their significant other. I know this sounds crazy, but this is the reality of the human condition as mentioned by William Glasser in the above quote. If we view a situation negatively, then we will have negative feelings. Now, I am not saying that we shouldn’t have negative feelings. Life is very challenging and often result in “negative” feelings. A person fighting to overcome cancer probably isn’t going to be “giddy” with happiness. I am merely trying to avoid a victim consciousness when it comes to our feelings. We choose negative feelings and those negative feelings may be the best thing for us. Ideas of depression or emotional instability result in physiological responses that we choose to engage in to help us cope with some of life’s harsh realities. The point is that our feelings don’t have to control us; negative feelings don’t have to result in negative actions.

I would like to offer my theory, Perceptual Analysis Screen Sequence (P.A.S.S.), as a framework around which individuals could assist themselves in becoming more autonomous regarding the ownership of their thoughts or consciousness, and so, by default, ownership of their words, and feelings. P.A.S.S. is about analyzing one’s perceptions in order to screen out the habitual thought patterns or sequence of thoughts and then to reorder or create a new sequence that better serves each individual. An important point is that you can’t really just change thinking patterns or resist them. What one resists will persist. Just by observing the habitual thoughts, without judgment, one will naturally begin to choose new behaviors. P.A.S.S. is very much like what occurs when flour is sifted with a screen. A big jumble of flour is placed on the screen and gently sifted to keep out anything that is not flour. What was a big mess of flower becomes a neat, clear, more spread out, and so organized pile. P.A.S.S. allows an individual to take their jumbled defensive thoughts, understand them, and choose which ones they want. Observance is analogous to the screen that sifts the flour, it becomes that screen, but for thoughts. It allows individuals to observe their thoughts, without judgment of their cause, and choose what is most effective and responsible, rather than responding with habitual defensiveness.

There exists many modalities or techniques by which this can be accomplished. Examples include: consulting change agents, psychologists, journal writing, poetry, Buddhist chanting and meditation, acting, writing, or basically anything that enables one to see their thinking patterns beyond their intellect or rational minds. For example, when one journals consistently, if they pay attention, they will begin to see a pattern form, possibly fear or optimism regarding love, work, family, or whatever. A technique is only as good the intention behind it. P.A.S.S. frames ones intention to be more specifically aware of defense mechanisms, defensive routines or other erroneous thought patterns that may not serve the individual. The goal is to become more aware of the individual’s role in using some of these techniques or change modalities. The change agents goal is to facilitate self-awareness, and unless we take ownership of this process, these activities can degenerate into additional intellectual analysis, devoid of emotion, self-evaluation or real change. And that is what I mean by getting past the intellect or rational mind; the mind is merely the tool by which we can develop our being. Often, we stop there and truly believe an intellectual understanding of information is enough. If information were truly enough, no one would smoke, take drugs or overeat. P.A.S.S. can be a bridge between intellectual understanding and the experiential understanding we can achieve when we integrate our mind with our bodies, spirit and emotions.

Defensive Routines

Last month we made clear the distinction between dialogue and debate. Simply, debate has as its foundation the need to be right versus establishing what is true. We also discussed how a better understanding of our thinking habits can enhance our quality of communication. One of the most common thinking habits that occurs, in my assessment, is known as defensive routines or defensiveness. When individuals debate, they are usually engaging in unconscious and irrational defensiveness, which occurs when individuals want to protect themselves from anxiety. This protection is established through diversionary and intimidation tactics or by distorting reality. Defensive communication can lead to one-sided conversations, where individuals only want to prove their point versus wanting to also understand the point of view of those that they communicate with.

These unconscious psychological defensive mechanisms include repression, rationalization, projection, reaction formation, displacement, identification, regression, fantasy formation, intellectualization/isolation, and denial. Most individuals who are overly defensive are trying to protect themselves from a threat that does not really exist. Before I breakdown the various types of defensive routines, it should be known that everyone uses defense mechanisms and that it is quite normal to do so. Problems arise when they are overly or habitually used.

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Types of Defensive Routines

Repression: The primary ego defense that give life to all other defensive routines. Its prime function is to prevent anxiety and helps individuals deal with everyday problems. It often occurs in response to conflict and pain from one’s past history, whether that conflict actually exists or not. Repressed memories can drain our creative energy, cause stiffness of character and lead to more serious psychological challenges. It is important to know that repressed memories don’t ever go away and that the goal is to create a better understanding of the negative feelings associated with that memory. Such identification allows us to associate more positive feelings with the old memory. The difficulty with this is that the only way to associate a new feeling with an old memory. is to actually feel the repressed pain associated with it. Trained professionals can help individuals through that process. It is through the darkness (pain) that we find the light (something other than pain).

Rationalization: In order to cope with anxiety, our ego uses reason to “explain them away.” This reasonableness is often seen in dishonest explanations for various acts, or justifying those acts with complete disregard to how hurtful those acts may have been. This rationale is often clouded in delusion, which results in an over sense of superiority. The bottom line is that those who overly use their rational faculties to justify their acts are really implementing impaired judgment.

Projection: In this case, individuals transfer their own personality traits onto other people, places or even things. It is the unconscious act of labeling or attributing to others one’s own feelings, thoughts or intentions.This actually happens a great deal and is one of the highest forms of delusion. An example might be when someone accuses another person of being a coward and too afraid to achieve something, when in actuality they are talking about themselves. How do we know if we are projecting to others? Simply, every time we assume to know the intentions of another person without asking them about what they are doing with an “ear” of respectful acknowledgment of that persons capabilities.

Reaction Formation: This is used by the ego to primarily control the expression of “forbidden” impulses by repressing them consciously. This repression is justified by making that impulse (i.e. sexual lust, seeking wealth, only doing a job you love, etc.) unworthy or unjust, regardless of whether or not those impulses are valuable. One becomes the crusader against the forbidden urge, often resulting in compulsiveness, exaggeration and an all or nothing attitude.

Displacement: This occurs when an instinctual impulse is redirected from a more threatening activity, person or object to a less threatening one. For example, you might yell at your dog because you are too afraid to yell at your significant other. Injustice is what describes this defensive routine best; the innocent becomes the victim.

Identification: In this case, individuals take on the characteristics of someone admired or considered successful; hero-worship. In doing so, they are able to bolster their sense of self-worth by protecting themselves through the illusion that they are giving themselves an identity, albeit a false one. If used too often, it results in feelings of inauthenticity and a sense of separation from others.

Regression: Reverting to an earlier child-like stage of development, which one views as a more secure period. Individuals act as if they are very tired or fatigued, ill and often will throw tantrums.

Fantasy Formation: Individuals gratify frustrated desires by thinking of imaginary achievements and satisfactions; thinking that they are something that they are not. This allows the individual to transport themselves away from real problems. It can be difficult to communicate with people who display this defensive routine.

Intellectualization/Isolation: Unpleasant emotions are suppressed by engaging in detached analyses of threatening problems. Feelings of anxiety are ignored and not allowed to reach one’s conscious awareness. Becoming a third party to issues to prevent them from emotionally attaching to the feelings associated with the issues. Obviously, these individuals have difficulty with intimacy.

Denial: The ego refuses to acknowledge the existence of threatening events by refusing to believe in them. It can assist an individual in getting through difficult times and can be very valuable if they are willing to address the issue at a later date.