Phronesis (Practical Wisdom)

When discussing moral behavior, it is worth noting that some “virtues” can be faults if they are not balanced by wisdom. An individual may be honest, generous, or respectful, but if they do so “to-a-fault,” then potential hardships could result. A compassionate person might tell a lie in an effort to not hurt someone’s feelings. Yet in doing so, they relieve themselves of the virtuous quality because a lie is still a lie. And it is difficult to achieve high levels of human improvement internally and externally if we are not able to be brutally honest. When this type of situation presents itself with a client, I very carefully teach them how to say things compassionately while never altering the truth of what needs to be said. This is known as paralanguage, which can be defined as, “it’s not what you say, but how you say it.” The work I do is to create sound human relationships while going for our dreams. If all we wanted was to achieve our goals without also creating loving relationships, we would be missing the whole point of why we do anything. Whether an individual is willing to admit it or not, we are here to create loving relationships first and to fulfill our goals or desires second. Actually, practical wisdom, as I see it, is the process of fulfilling our goals and dreams as the springboard to better relationships. It is through “going-for-it,” that we learn about who we are as virtuous beings. We find out our levels of courage, compassion, empathy, faith, love, etc. by challenging ourselves to be all that we wish to be. Otherwise, we are left with gaps in these areas based on deep resentment that are often the result of choosing to be victims in regards to who we choose to be. It is far easier to blame our inability to do what we want on a situation, circumstance or persons than to take ownership of our plot in life. When I say “take ownership,” I am not trivializing how people, situations or circumstances have influenced (not caused) our plot in life. Yet, this simple distinction, between influence and cause, is the key to transforming these things for our benefit. If a client says “it” caused their negative situation, then he/she is left powerless because an outside force has the control. In seeing things from an influential standpoint, we are able to create a sense of fulfillment, growth, well-being and happiness (Eudaimonia) during the job search as well as other areas of our lives.

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